Everything we have done is considerably better than the next generation will do, they should be really worried that their lives won't match up to ours

Went toy shopping yesterday for Madeleine's niece, for whom I would spend at least twenty minutes later in the day making a handdrawn card with a little squirrel holding a little acorn with a "we are nuts about you Juno." I know making hand drawn cards seems a bit twee or forced or something, but I am not exactly making a career out of it; all I am saying is it was a pretty good card/snappy punchline for the lil three year old. Anyway, Madeleine insisted upon some Sylvanian family toys, this absurd family of squirrels, hence the foreshadowing in the card. Sylvanian family toys make me uncomfortable.1 Ultimately, it probably has more to do with their over inflated price tag and unbelievably comprehensive range of accessories than anything else. When I was facing the indignity of being really young and getting condescending anthropomorphised figurines as presents, I was spared because I was a little dude who had like sunglasses and a sunhat I would wear backwards and wouldn't be having sex for another twelve thirteen years or something, so I filled my time with :

killer narratives involving the old west. Had a reasonably comprehensive collection of plastic cowboy figurines after watching the film "An Indian in my Cupboard" which apparently has Steve Coogan in it. Who knew? I mean I was seven at the time and wasn't really up to play with Steve Coogan's sort of failed career in Hollywood. I was older than Juno when I had my collection of Cowboy and Indian figures, but feel there was a considerably greater scope for narrative realisation with the Cowboy and Indian plot as opposed to some family of squirrels who ultimately are going to be kind of dull and woodland focused. I mean its basically self evident that my childhood was going to be way better than hers, what can really compare with hours of Ecco the Dolphin and Encarta 95? Sad that Juno's little squirrel family are a constant reminder to Juno that my childhood was at least 30% better.

On a side note , how much better would the world be if signs were more playfully joking around? Like the shop Moore Wilsons in Wellington, would be definitely improved if it was at least in some places in the shop " "More" Wilsons " , double use of speech marks adding to the super lame pun. This would probably solve more problems than it would cause, including but not limited to : less street violence, more people stopping and just sort of chuckling to themselves. Also overheard in Moore Wilsons, in the homeware section which sort of looks just like any homeware section anywhere but had a real great selection of knives, but sort of feel like I am cheating myself out of a trip to Westfield Lower Hutt so I could go to King of Knives which the mall presumably has- I am pretty sure a King of Knives is a prerequisite for any proper mall; some lady was looking at the selection of bedspreads and was all condescendingly staring at her husband when he pulled out a bedspread and was like "I believe the word for it is 'foul' " Sometimes it would be really great to be middle aged, but only really for those times. My parents mostly fall asleep at like nine. As do I, and I really hate my life.

Deeply concerned about my impending move to Nelson. While I was saying that my childhood was all better and everything, when I was about Juno's age I was attacked by a swan. Madeleine is all like "that is so funny!" Fact check, it isn't. So I don't like being around large birds, geese make me uncomfortable. Turkeys are also disconcerting, but that is mostly because they look like they shouldn't really exist. Same also for the Peacock. Anyway, apparently Nelson has some rogue swan on the loose. Will probably be my nemesis or something. Will haunt me constantly. This was going to be a little footnote about how Sylvanian families are real phoney. But I think that is pretty self evident. Also how Swans are real terrifying. Also geese. Maybe it is their cold dead unblinking eyes, maybe it is the untold violence they inflict every day? Such a bleak era.